What a Great Day!

Saturday was the annual MEND Walk to Remember and it was wonderful. I'll explain a little, but words just can't describe the emotion and spirit that is felt as everyone there remembers a baby that they've lost. I've served on the committee for the last three years and though it's a lot of work, it is such a blessing to be a part of something so wonderful. This year we had just over 400 people remembering 160 babies. These are the angels that were distributed this year.

This is such a special time to honor my daughter, Savannah Kate, who passed away during birth on January 3, 2004. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her and what our family would be like if she would have made it. Right now my heart is full and my eyes are flooded with tears as I think of her. I miss her! It's so interesting how as soon as you find out that you're pregnant, you start making plans for the baby. Not just how the nursery will look, but you develop hopes and dreams for your unborn child. Every mom out there knows what I mean. When all of that comes crashing down and you go home from the hospital without your baby, it's hard to even breathe (really, you'd rather not breathe than live another day in misery). About 4 months after Savannah was born, I wasn't doing very well at all. Everyone else had "gone on" and I was just stuck, not really knowing how to grieve or what the process was to "get back to normal". Well, in that time I found MEND, Mommies Enduring Neonatal Death, and through the support I received there I was able to slowly come out of the fog and live again. I learned that I would never be the Calli that I was before Savannah and that I would form a "new normal" for my life. Since MEND is a Christian based support group I felt very comfortable expressing my feelings on eternal families and the hand of the Lord in my life. What a great blessing that Families are Forever. I know that I will see Savannah again and what a joyous reunion that will be.

This will give you a glimpse of the Walk to Remember. It's from last year, but look closely and you'll see a few pictures of my family. Mend Slide Show Make sure you have your sound up because there's beautiful music.